Monthly Archives: March 2014

Sharknado 2: The Seaquel

Today I am meant to be pitching new ideas for comic strips, puzzles and features to The Beano.

I also have 6 scripts to write.

However, that’s not happening. I am procrastinating on the internet.

Inspiration escapes me, as I have become uncontrollably distracted by something completely ridiculous. The criminally pun-less sub-title of Sharknado 2: The Second One.

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I am well aware of the irony of being absolutely fine with every other aspect of this undoubtedly daft film, and that it is a ridiculous thing to be preoccupied with. I also fully understand that by discussing it here I’m doing exactly what the film’s producers had hoped would happen and generating free publicity. BUT

I have become entirely consumed with the thought that the sub-title is such a missed opportunity, to the extent that I can’t possibly get any work done until I purge this from my brain. So here goes.

Here’s are my suggestions for better titles:

  • Sharknado 2: The Seaquel
  • Sharknado 2: Whalestorm
  • Sharknado 2: Turtle Wipeout
  • Sharknado 2: Hammerhead Time
  • Sharknado 2: A Fish Called Twister
  • Sharknado 2: Megladonmageddon
  • Sharknado 2: Only Cod Forgives
  • Sharknado 2: Some Fin Funny
  • Sharknado 2: Chubmarine!
  • Sharknado 2: American Pisces 
  • Sharknado 2: Dude, Where’s My Carp?
  • Sharknado 2: Without A Porpoise
  • Sharknado 2: Piranha & Her Sisters
  • Sharknado 2: The 40 Year Old Sturgeon
  • Sharknado 2: Skates On a Plane
  • Sharknado 2: Haddock Bad Day?
  • Sharknado 2: Finders Kippers
  • Sharknado 2: Mullet Over
  • Sharknado 2: Bulletproof Monkfish
  • Sharknado 2: Water Warfare
  • Sharknado 2: Trout For Justice
  • Sharknado 2: Tossed In New York

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  • Sharknado 2: For Goodness Hake!
  • Sharknado 2: Sardine State
  • Sharknado 2: Basking For Trouble
  • Sharknado 2: Seeking Kelp
  • Sharknado 2: Scream For Bream 
  • Sharknado 2: CODZILLA
  • Sharknado 2: Return Of The Mackrel
  • Sharknado 2: Back In The Halibut
  • Sharknado 2: Kick Some Bass!
  • Sharknado 2: Air Chub.
  • Sharknado 2: Fallen Angelfish
  • Sharknado 2: Barracuda In The Barracks
  • Sharknado 2: Like Pike
  • Sharknado 2: Groundshark Day
  • Sharknado 2: Dogfish Of War
  • Sharknado 2: Torrential Weever Conditions
  • Sharknado 2: Goldenfish
  • Sharknado 2: Guppy Love
  • Sharknado 2: War Seahorse
  • Sharknado 2: Salmons Gotta Give
  • Sharknado 2: Electric Eel-galoo
  • Sharknado 2: Fishin’ To Moscow
  • Sharknado 2: Requiems For A Scream

A Requiem Shark is a type of Groundshark.

Groundsharks are a type of shark usually found in the Caribbean.

No… Groundsharks do not live on the ground. That would make them die. Don’t you people know anything about sharks? Next you’ll be asking if they could be sucked out of the water by a tornado without obviously immediately dying.

Anyhoo, Sharknado (and I suspect Sharknado 2) is just a bit of silly low-budget fun. As was this blog. Let’s just sit back and look forward to Sharknado 3: Pilchard The Third.

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Apologies to Lew Stringer for the misappropriation of one of his Pathetic Sharks from Viz, which I’ve skill-lessly added to the promo in the header!

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Filed under Films, Sharknado 2